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I am in Washington, DC.

I am in Washington, DC. published on

Technically, Maryland, but there’s a subway station. What should I do in Washington, DC? Aside from go to the Freer and Sackler galleries and wish I were a master thief, probably from a manga with peculiar ideas about either Catholics or consent. Because I can only do that so much.

(Restaurants and used book stores count as things to do. Also, protests.)

Anxiety dreams.

Anxiety dreams. published on

Mine are about:

50% – AIRPORTS

25% – Teaching classes I forgot I had and haven’t prepared for.

25% – Attending classes I forgot I had and haven’t prepared for.

It’s dumb how I pretty much fear airports more than anything else in the universe. I am going to be so bad at at it when I am a Lovecraft protagonist. My studies are going to lead me to the lost city of doomish things, and there are gonna be check-in kiosks in there.

It is Chinese Zodiac Year of the Dead Computer.

It is Chinese Zodiac Year of the Dead Computer. published on

I know because my computer is dead.

This means that EVERY PERSON IN THIS FAMILY’S COMPUTER HAS DIED WITHIN THE PAST THREE MONTHS. So maybe it’s the Three-Month Period of the Dead Computer. I guess I shouldn’t have brought the Chinese Zodiac into it; I apologize; the lunar calendar is clearly in no way responsible for the condition of these computers. More likely the problem relates to voodoo.

I have double-backups of everything because I’ve been obsessive about that recently – my last manual backup was the 27th, and I just checked and my Carbonite seems to have been working fine. I’m pretty sure that some kanji flashcards and MP3s are the only thing neither of them would have caught, and the MP3s are on my phone’s SD card. THANK GOD I AM ANAL-RETENTIVE.

Continue reading It is Chinese Zodiac Year of the Dead Computer.

Kanji kanji kanji.

Kanji kanji kanji. published on

I have been doing so many kanji flashcards they have taken over certain other vital neural processes, including quantifying time and the sensations of pain and heat. I think I had a dream about flashcards. I have the idea in my head of the master kanji, with a stroke order requiring nine simultaneous strokes, properly writable only by the thousand-armed Kannon. The last attempt to write it was a five-person effort conducted in Sapporo in 1916. Four died, and the fifth, responsible for only one stroke, went mad.

We went to Nashville over the weekend, and I bought some substandard Houjicha for much more than I should have spent. I was unaware that there was a 1:1 model of the Parthenon in Nashville! There were a lot of reproductions of statues of naked men there, of the variety that had apparently at some point been partially genitally modified by the Roman Catholic Church. By this I mean that the phalli had been removed, but mostly not the testicles. There were also newer statues created for the reproduction by some late-1800s American artists, which reproduced the effect of the Catholic Church’s efforts. So I guess there is a whole Vandalized Art tradition in which these people were working, in which it is necessary to treat the vandalization itself as a valid part of the art? I guess.

I’m positive that it is some sort of sin that I was standing around the tourist trap holding my camera and squinting at small plaster crotches and thinking these thoughts. It can’t be a new sin.

Non-conversations with Jenan.

Non-conversations with Jenan. published on

[19:30] Jenan is offline.
[19:31] Snarp: Going to get food; be back on in a minute.
[19:31] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:35] Snarp: Back.
[19:35] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:36] Snarp: I’m just going to say random facts at your IM, okay?
[19:36] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:36] Snarp: Pumpkin pie should be cooked at a high temperature for the first few minutes to set it, then turned about 50 degrees lower.
[19:36] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:37] Snarp: Waterproofing shoes when you first get them is always a good idea.
[19:37] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:38] Snarp: Large breeds of dogs shouldn’t be fed puppy food as puppies; it’s too high in fat for them, and will make them put on weight too quickly, damaging their bone density.
[19:38] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:40] Snarp: Trust not in the promises of elvenkind.
[19:40] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:45] Snarp: And unattended space heaters are one of the leading causes of house fires.
[19:45] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.
[19:45] Snarp: Okay, I need to get off now because I’m all Benadryled up and falling asleep. SEND ME BEE PHOTOS.
[19:45] Second Life: User not online – message will be stored and delivered later.

(Context: Jenan is always late getting on Second Life, and I’m all Benadryled up.)

It’s a tradition. Before games, the Chem dept. blows up something symbolic of the other team.

It’s a tradition. Before games, the Chem dept. blows up something symbolic of the other team. published on

^ TV! I have lived mainly in places without TVs for about six years, so I’m frequently startled by the stuff that’s on there when I’m home.

My 15-year-old cat has been creating obstacles to foot traffic forcefully and with great conviction in many inappropriate places. The vet put her on a special prescription diet, which has thus far only caused her to space out her intestinal comments a little bit. I don’t think this is entirely due to a lack of bladder control, because she seems to be particularly interested in modifying the surface texture of bathmats, towels temporarily serving as bathmats due to actual bathmats all being in the washer, and a long carpet remnant we put in the hall.

What is her objection to movable floor covering? Is this what she has been trying to communicate with the campaign of plaintive meowing she began around her thirteenth birthday? Have we ignored her arguments for so long that she has chosen this politically-charged moment to take her movement to the streets? Maybe I should have said “movements” in that sentence, but it seemed forced. I have seriously been sitting here Googling phrases like “pants for cats.”

Whooooooooooooosh.

Whooooooooooooosh. published on

I think I was at least six inches shorter the last time I went swimming in the ocean. The experience hasn’t changed: there are many different sizes of waves, and some of them can knock me over, and some of them cannot; and some of them make me go under if they come when I’m floating, and some of them just rock me slightly; and after a few minutes of floating they will drag me out to a depth at which my feet cannot touch the sand. I do not think there is any human large or small enough that their experience would be much different. Maybe I will make a diagram.

How To Make Me Feel Guilty If You Are My Cat

How To Make Me Feel Guilty If You Are My Cat published on

And I Have Just Picked You Up From The Vet.

1) Have a huge open wound on your neck where the vet drained an abscess. Also, a pathetic expression.

2) Run outside the moment I get the carrier open.

3) Stay outside even when it starts pouring rain, running away in a panic when I open the door to let you in.

4) Eventually come in and let me pet you for a second, leaving me with the sinking knowledge that I still have to get antibiotics down your throat later.

I’m a gigantic idiot.

I’m a gigantic idiot. published on

I looked at the JLPT website Monday night, saw I needed to register by Friday, and saw that all the test sites were at least seven hours away. I thought, “I’ll figure out which site’s best in the morning.”

GUESS WHAT I DID

I wasn’t too late to register for the Canadian test, so I went ahead and did that. So now I’m registered at Toronto, which is eleven hours away. Way to go, me. I have no idea if it’ll even be possible for me to get up there.