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Fucking ARIAL

Fucking ARIAL published on

I’ve just spent twenty minutes trying to download a copy of Arial Unicode for my Japanese dictionary on my brand new (really old) tablet.

Microsoft is afraid you’ll like, pirate Arial and do nasty things to it. Like rape the letters that have holes in them or whatever it is you stinkin’ pirates do. Pirating all the time.

So Arial Unicode is only available with Works, and can’t be downloaded from their website.

The tablet has some ancient, bizarre version of Works installed, but it somehow apparently didn’t come with the font. I have a newer copy of Works sitting here, and the library has the very newest one, if I wanted to walk over there – but the tablet doesn’t have a CD-ROM drive, so I can’t install either of them.

So in short, I have, theoretically, legal access to three separate copies of the damn font, but I can’t use them. I feel justified looking for other places to download it – actually, it doesn’t even occur to me yet that I need any justification, I mean, this is *Arial* we’re talking about.

But Microsoft has apparently sent C&D’s to every website that was offering the download. I just checked a couple of BitTorrent search engines. Didn’t find anything, of couse.

And so then it kind of hit me – I was just reduced to trying to download an illicit copy of FUCKING ARIAL off of BitTorrent. And I FAILED. And I wasted TWENTY MINUTES of my time TRYING and FAILING to acquire ARIAL.

Which Microsoft is afraid that PEOPLE ARE GOING TO STEAL FROM THEM WITHOUT *PAYING* OH THEIR POOR BAAAAABY.

ARIAL.

If I ever meet Bill Gates, I am going to kick that stupid little wuss-face so *hard*.

I am going to kill you so hard.

I am going to kill you so hard. published on

 

I was forced to leave this note in the kitchen this morning:

illustrativeimage

 

“To the individual who, sometime Thursday morning, took my soup out of the fridge, spilled some on the floor, put it back without covering it properly, and left without cleaning up his spill, thus causing me to stumble barefoot into yellow liquid at 9:00 AM while nauseous:

When I find out who you are, you will suffer torments new to experience of man.

For a lesser food-crime than this, in Kentucky a man lies in a shallow grave, the fondou he did offend against smeared across his sightless eyes, his mouth still agape in an expression of faint shock. This fate and worse await you. Settle your affairs and compose your mind and spirit.

Have a nice day,
SRP”

I think my handwriting sort of lends an air of legitimacy to death threats.