Skip to content

Warning: Ill-natured post.

Warning: Ill-natured post. published on

So I’ve been looking at the message board for a Facebook game.

I know that I yelled at my cold cream the other day, and I made libelous remarks about Octavia Butler due to my displeasure at her having gotten Serious all over me, and I suggested that Lois McMaster Bujold’s latest series might have been the result of a stroke or head injury. And I may have threatened Nalini Singh’s pets.

But… I’m not serious about these things? I think I would feel kind of embarrassed if people thought I was truly distraught about my cold cream, or seriously angry at writers for not meeting all of my expectations. Yet I think these people on Facebook are seriously angry at the programmers of the little farm game.

Continue reading Warning: Ill-natured post.

I give thanks for my ability to waste time yelling at internet people.

I give thanks for my ability to waste time yelling at internet people. published on

This is the best stupid Second Life argument I’ve ever been in.

I’m just pleased with how my last sentence there turned out. And the intended recipient will never read it! She is too busy being wrong on the internet someplace else.

Three Things Post

Three Things Post published on

1) Olfactory Rescue Service – A frequently-updated blog of really detailed incense reviews. No, these guys are crazy. BPAL people may want to look at it? (Because BPAL international shipping is expensive, I’m trying to transfer some of my perfume nerdery over to incense, of which Japan has a lot.)

2) Amazon is preventing gay and lesbian books from showing up in searches, something that, given Amazon’s monopoly status, is obviously going to have an impact on their ability to get sold. You can write cuss words to them via their web form, or phone cuss words to them at these numbers provided by rydra_wong.

3) Last night I had a dream involving a very stoic eight-or-nine-year-old boy who was captain of a naval ship, in a very small island country engaged some vaguely Napoleonic-looking war involving dragons. (Though I don’t think that the dream was Temeraire fanfic – I think it’s based on hanging around in Second Life pirate-themed areas with Jenan yesterday, plus Warcraft withdrawal.) When he was on his ship or on the docks, everyone treated him with proper respect, as if it was perfectly normal that a little boy be the ship’s captain. The other captains and the admiral of the fleet often came to consult him, because his knowledge of the weather was unparalleled – he could predict storms and calms days and sometimes weeks in advance.

But the further the captain got from his ship, the more people began to feel that it might be a little strange that a child should be in the navy.

One day he and a few of his crew were betrayed to the enemy. When the captain was carried onto an enemy ship, the spell seemed to break entirely. Suddenly everyone, even those of his own crew who had been taken with him, saw him only as a little boy. As always, his face was quite calm – but a deep sadness fell over him. When left alone on the deck of the enemy ship for a few moments – because he was only a little boy, so what could he do? – he took a small wooden flute out of the pocket of his red greatcoat and began to play. Though it was a summer day and only a little past noon, and the sun was bright and the wind was strong, a little mist began to rise up off the water.

And then I woke up.

So I watched Sita Sings the Blues

So I watched Sita Sings the Blues published on

and got myself all worked up about something tangential:

For a guy who claims that video games can never be “high art”, Ebert seems to have a pretty high opinion of a film that owes a lot to 2D game visual conventions. It’s a good movie, but it’s not “astonishingly original.” He’d have a better idea what he was looking at if he’d ever played a video game.

(Don’t click on that first link if you’re a gamer, it’ll just raise your blood pressure.)

Turns out it is kinda cold out.

Turns out it is kinda cold out. published on 2 Comments on Turns out it is kinda cold out.

I have successfully purchased pots, pans, dishes, towels, toiletries, and much of the other general moving-type stuff. I’m going to wait until I get my first paycheck before getting anything more heavy-weight, ie, shelving stuff.

My apartment is very poorly designed. Very. Continue reading Turns out it is kinda cold out.

What Happened Today (or, yesterday, by now)

What Happened Today (or, yesterday, by now) published on

* I wake up way too early because the house is freezing.

* There is a holiday-related thing I need to do before one of my sisters wakes up – this would be a good time to do it. I forget, turn the heat on, and go back to sleep.

* I get up at 11:00, feeling sick because I slept way too long. My sisters are both awake already.

* I realize that I forgot to call the Japanese consulate yesterday to ask where the heck my visa is – it should have shown up Monday at the latest. I call.

* They never received one of my forms, and they need it – in the original – before they can issue the visa. (I spent like $35 bucks sending all this crap two weeks ago, did I mention that?) Upon being told that I’m leaving the country in less than two weeks – about half of which are vacation days for the consulate, and several of which are vacation days for the post office – the woman I talk to says that I fax them the form today, she’ll try to get it out in the mail before they close. But I really need to mail in an original, too.

* The printer is fucking broken.

* We don’t have a fax machine anyway. The eighties have been over for like at least fifteen fucking years, I checked.

* I call Mom and ask if her office has a working printer and fax machine – it does – and say I’ll be there in a few minutes.

* And the car is gone. thegeekgene took it someplace. I break into her room and eat her N64.

* I call Mom and ask her if she can come get me.

* It occurs to me when we’re halfway there I could have just done the fax part of this from the house, because we do have a working scanner, I know how to use Photoshop, and exists.

* After faxing the form, I go pick up some stuff for Mom, then go to the post office to mail the hard-copy. I lock myself out of the car. I call Mom and discover that this car has only one key. Two expensive and highly cold-sensitive presents are trapped inside.

* I go into the post office to mail the form. Just as I’m handing the envelope across the desk, my cell phone rings – the original copy has just shown up at the consulate. I haven’t paid yet! Hurrah!

* I sit in the post office and play Professor Layton and the Curious Village for twenty minutes until Dad shows up with a key he somehow got made.

* I finally manage to finish my orc’s Chief Brigadier armor set! But it’s more revealing than I realized.

Cut for overly sexy orc:

Continue reading What Happened Today (or, yesterday, by now)

“I suck at being tragic.”

“I suck at being tragic.” published on

My laptop’s broken and the back-up drive Mom ordered me is late showing up and they cast a bunch of white kids for the Avatar movie (and actually I don’t acknowledge its existence, so forget I said anything) and I forgot to give the dog his pill this morning and the pants I ordered don’t fit.

But Dad’s arch-nemesis outbid him at a Christmukkah charity auction, and it was hilarious. Everyone else there found their feud so entertaining that the bidding was much higher on subsequent items than it had been on earlier ones, and they set a record for the auction. (Dad to the organizer: “Make sure his check clears.”)

Broken laptop means I am re-reading old books, because I am saving Flora’s Dare for some time when I’m not all grumpy. Yesterday it was Son of the Shadows, one of Juliet Marillier’s Sevenwaters books, which are fantasy-romance novels involving froofy Druids and curses and really bad dialog.

The first book, Daughter of the Forest worked pretty well as a romance. I think this is partly because the heroine couldn’t talk. Marillier’s a good writer in a lot of other regards, but for some reason, she can’t seem to handle dialog between her heroines and their love interests. Here’s how Liadan and Bran, the heroine and hero from Son of the Shadows, talk to each other:

“No! You can’t do this! You can’t just – finish him off as if he were some snared rabbit or a sheep to be slaughtered for the pot. This is a man here. One of your own.”

“Where did you learn of life? In some fairy tale? We live by the code. We have no names, no past, no future.”

“Already you believe me some kind of monster. You are indeed quick to assess a man’s character.”

“As are you to judge a woman.”

“I need not know you, to recognize what you are. Your kind are all the same. Catch a man in your net, draw him in, deprive him of his will and his judgment. It happens so subtly he is lost before he ever recognizes the danger.”

See, Marillier has a pretty good sense of how melodramatic she can go without sounding ridiculous most of the time – she can do the wise old spirits of the earth and guys getting turned into swans perfectly convincingly. But the romantic parts of the book are persistently and aggravatingly awkward.

Probably the biggest problem here is that the love interest’s characterization doesn’t make any sense. We’re supposed to believe that Bran hates women because one betrayed him in some terrible way, and that he distrusts Liadan in specific because her father did something terrible that caused him to lose his family and become an outlaw at a young age. A lot of suspense is built up about what his terrible secret is, but when we get to it, it’s literally incomprehensible (spoilers below the cut):

Continue reading “I suck at being tragic.”

It’s weird being in the Western hemisphere.

It’s weird being in the Western hemisphere. published on

People actually update their blogs while I’m awake here. I can’t get used to it.

Today I was in a doctor’s waiting room while Papaw got his eyes looked at (sibling who isn’t here – he can officially drive again! He’s very pleased about that, he thinks I don’t slow down enough at turns), and got to hear an elderly couple enthusiastically cheering the woman who called Obama an Arab. They felt the term to be a nicely cutting insult for a non-white liberal-type. One thing that’s relaxing about not being fluent in a language is that it’s harder to identify the racism. One exists permanently in a hazy fog of “Did that biker guy say something offensive? I wish he’d enunciate clearer so I can look up if I don’t want to sit next to him.” I regrettably speak Kentuckian, and the waiting room was too crowded to move.

PSA: Nobody ever buy something Food City labels “kimchi.” I don’t think they know what that means.

I hope there’s a shounen manga about fighting evil cell phone conglomerates.

I hope there’s a shounen manga about fighting evil cell phone conglomerates. published on

I just spent five hours trying to get a cell phone, and failed. I will secure my disgust safely behind a cut so as not to add unnecessarily to the general toxicity of the internet.

Continue reading I hope there’s a shounen manga about fighting evil cell phone conglomerates.

I hope you die on the second disc.

I hope you die on the second disc. published on

I rescind the stuff I said about Golden Sun. It doesn’t have the worst dialog of any RPG ever. Luminous Arc does. Luminous Arc is what you’d get if you tripled the banality and length of Golden Sun’s dialog and threw in a bunch of disturbing lolicon character designs, and voice actors. This game should not have voice actors. This was a poor tactical decision.

I didn’t even make it past the opening cut-scene, I had to turn it off. There were five separate named characters with creepy lolicon designs, and they were all clearly important to the plot, and two of them said, “yes, master!” Another was in a maid uniform, and another was menaced by a Cardinal. And there were eight or nine other named characters, three or four different secret organizations (not counting the Catholic Church), and they were all clearly important to the plot. And there were four time-skips. During the opening cut-scene! Which I stopped at about the twenty-minute mark.

I need a new Phoenix Wright game. My DS is trying to kill me.

Dad says I cuss too much.

Dad says I cuss too much. published on

Man, pirating software is hard work. I have like a whole new respect for message board assholes.

I made Mom play the first chapter of Phoenix Wright the other day. She yelled inscrutable legal stuff at it the whole time and refuses to touch it again.

I also totally broke the blog the other day trying to do a test-run of copying it to a new server. I’m all grumpy at WordPress now. What is this forwarding bullshit you do? This is massively inappropriate, and the solution is fucking non-intuitive and for some reason broke all my Unicode characters. I’m not upgrading to this fucking 2.5 of yours until it’s been out at least three months and I know I can recreate all this work I’ve done messing around with PHP and hacking these fucking plugins to make them fucking work like I fucking want. Fucking.

The Mexican restaurant in town always has Star Trek playing. It’s really depressing to me I can hear a random line of dialog from Voyager and go, “Hold it, that totally contradicts that stupid episode where the Doctor’s fucking registry got corrupted or whatever!” I need rewrite privileges for my brain. That is space I could be using for kanji.