Dad: So you need to email your sister and ask her if she wants to come with us when we go down to Nashville – tell her she has to drive down and meet us, it’ll be Friday the 13th – is that right? We’ll be leaving on the 13th?
Me: Do you want your youngest daughter driving all by herself on Friday the 13th!? You’re a terrible father!
Dad: I don’t know, maybe not… I’m going to have to think about this now…
Interviewer on TV: [name], who is running for [office], says he’s not a politician, he’s just a concerned citizen who –
Me: *mutes the TV*
Dad: Sarah! Don’t mute this guy! He’s a concerned citizen! He’s running for office, he’s got the IQ of a small bird – he’s a great American!
Me: *repeatedly mutes commercials*
Dad: *repeatedly unmutes them* You’re as bad as your grandmother! She muted commercials and black people.