Jul 10

Ijiwaru Sensei

Tag: i teach english — 12:10 pm

Today, I was so mean to Miss Ko-omote that she died.

She had a plastic hammer and was banging on the floor with it, saying sorrowfully, “Work from dawn to dusk, I do!” (In Japanese.) She kept at this for some time. Whatever its merits, this activity prevented her from speaking English, so I took the hammer.

She flopped down on her back and turned mournful eyes to me. “Miss Ko-omote,” she explained in a melancholy voice, “Is dead now. She has gone heaven and you’ll never see her again. Miss Foo will never see her again, either.” (I had also taken Miss Foo’s hammer, but she didn’t die.) “It’s too bad you were so cruel to her before she died. I bet you’re sorry that you were such a mean teacher, but it’s much too late… Miss Ko-omote is in heaven now. Maybe someday, when you look up at the stars, you’ll see her smile…”

I’m not making this up. Somehow I feel that disclaimer to be necessary.

She probably got even more dramatic, but even my vast experience with shoujo manga wasn’t enough that I could keep up with everything she said. I left her to talk herself bored while I sneakily induced Miss Foo to say “in” and “on” by means of a game where she got to climb into a box. After a couple minutes, Miss Ko-omote decided to stop being dead and wanted to play with the marbles. (I still couldn’t get her to speak English, though.)

At the end of class, I went up to the board and drew a little angel flying over a cloud. I pointed to it. “Is it Miss Ko-omote?” I asked her. She frowned at it for a second, and then said, enlightened, “Oh! From where I died earlier.”

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