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Official: I am not dying.

Official: I am not dying. published on

Cooking Tip: A teaspoon of habanero is too much. It doesn’t matter how much curry you’re making. If you put a teaspoon of habanero in the curry, the results will kill people.

Today I received the results of my chest X-ray. These were, regrettably, not expressed by means of the smiley face/frown face dichotomy. There was a lot of kanji, and some of it, when entered into my dictionary, turned up no results at all. Was my physical state so alarming that it could only be conveyed with the creation of entirely new kanji?!

Me: Sensei, does this mysterious piece of paper mean that I am not dying?

Daigakusei-sensei: What?! It’s blank! There are no results!

It appears that Daigakusei-sensei is easily alarmed over non-Japanese-class-related matters. Sleep-san and Myuu-san, who had this done last year, had to explain the form to her to prevent her from worrying that I had been improperly X-rayed. Being Taiwanese, they could magically read the non-existant kanji, and assured me that I was healthy.