May 27 2008

On cultural norms

Daigakusei-sensei got distracted toward the end of class today.

Daigakusei-sensei: I think, if I went to live in another country, I wouldn’t want to go to one that was dangerous… more dangerous than Japan, I mean…

The Pierced American: Don’t go to the US!

Me: Well, but Sensei, I think that only leaves Switzerland…

Daigakusei-sensei: Really?

Fuzzy-san: Yeah, I think so.

Screech-san: But I think maybe Japan is getting dangerous! I saw on the news that someone was murdered in Toyota recently -

Daigakusei-sensei: Really?!

Screech-san: Yeah! But – see – there’d been a bag tied around the person’s head, but it was gone when the police found the body? But they found the bag in Okazaki! So they think the murderer lives in Okazaki!

Daigakusei-sensei: Oh, no… Japan really is getting dangerous!

Me: *head explodes*

Daigakusei-sensei: Aie! *reproachfully* Hime-sama*, you scared me, screaming like that! – oh, it’s time for lunch! Bye, everyone!

Me, in English: There might be one murderer somewhere in Okazaki! One!

The Pierced American: Yeah, it’s pretty weird when you realize stuff like that…

The Bicycling American: You know, I’ve never felt unsafe in Japan, but when I go back to the US right now, I get so paranoid. I start crossing the street when I see a group of people just, you know, hanging out – I mean, any of them could have a gun!

Fuzzy-san: *worried* So in the United States, do you really see, you know, gang violence in the streets all the time?

-

It’s too hot, so I went and bought some men’s boxer shorts to wear for pajamas. It’s occurred to me that, though there are always girls hanging around the mall and train station wearing cut-off jean shorts that cover up much less than the boxers, I would definitely get arrested if I went out in the boxers. Because though the jean shorts cover up less than the boxers, they’re still jean shorts, and therefore coded as outerwear. Whereas the boxers are coded as underwear, and are thus obscene. What’s the sociological term for this phenomenon?

Incidentally, I wear a men’s XL in Japanese sizes. That’s an American women’s 14-to-16. I still have no idea what I would be in Japanese women’s sizes, as I have yet to find a store that carries women’s garments in sizes above XL.

-

* Yes, people are still calling me “Hime-sama.”


May 26 2008

Ow.

People with carpal tunnel should never, ever play The World Ends With You. Also, I need to remember not to play it on days when my anti-consumer rage runs high. You get significant stat bonuses for continually buying and properly coordinating brand-name clothing. You have a cell phone that is subscribed to a service keeping you updated as to what brands you should wear where. On the plus side, the game also allows me to pretend that the miso ramen I ate earlier rendered me more agile.

Also, you can control people’s minds with memes.

DS games, why are you all crazy?


May 26 2008

Tag: japan,personal — 8:29 am

The dogs in Okazaki are all tiny and high-strung, and the cats are glacial in terms both of size and top speed.

(The hugest, most contemptuous-looking cat I’ve ever seen in my life is sitting across the street right now. The previous record-holder was also a cat I saw here a couple months ago.)


May 24 2008

I spoke too soon.

Tag: a: clamp,manga,personal — 11:55 pm

The technical problem is still a problem. Mutter.

I’ve started re-reading Card Captor Sakura because I’m still too grumpy to read anything new, and I’ve just had a revelation about xxxHolic.

Cut for circular spoilers for both xxxHolic up to 157 and all of CCS:

Continue reading “I spoke too soon.”


May 24 2008

Rondo of Swords

(I wrote this a few days ago but couldn’t get it to post. I’ve now played enough that I know some of my theorizing isn’t totally accurate, but I’m going to go ahead and post it anyway.)

In the game, the holy sword wielded by the King has been cursed. I’m sure the Universal RPG Protagonists consider this a refreshing change from all those other RPGs where the holy sword has been lost, or the holy sword has been broken, or the holy sword has been transformed into a monster you have to fight.*

The-Hero-With-High-HP Serdic goes to The-Wizard-With-Like-No-HP Arios to try and get it un-cursed, and we are treated to this fabulously subtle piece of humor.

Arios: I’m interested in your body.

Serdic: What!?

Arios: When we have a spare moment, may I perform a thorough examination of your body?

Serdic: E-er, that is… Ah yes! You must see this!

Arios: This is the Holy Blade of Bretwalde, isn’t it? I’ve always wanted a good, long look at this.

Come on, Atlus localization team, get on the ball, here. If you’re going to do this joke, you’ve got to say long, hard look. Do I have to do everything around here?

The game’s humor is mostly like this (and the romance stuff is thus far equally unsubtle), but there’s actually some really interesting meta stuff going on in the story. Basically, you get the story from four sources, and all of them have a slightly different view of what’s going on:

1) Narration before stages, which is very serious-sounding stuff about the progress of the noble Prince Serdic and his command of the valiant army of Bretwolde. Third-person omniscient, scrolls across a screen with a weathered map on it, so as to convey the vague impression that we are reading a historical document.

2) Cut-scenes at the beginning and end of battles. Basically, these consist of the characters have little conversations where they tell each other the Latest Big Plot Points, and what the next battle’s going to be about. Town X has been invaded by pirates – go kill them all while preventing the villagers from taking damage! The princess and one of our most valued bishounen have been kidnapped by a guy who kinda looks like Wolverine – rescue them! The desert is hot – leave!

The cut-scene conversations mostly seem to be held in public, with all the playable characters and a few non-playable ones apparently listening in on them.

3) The dialog you get within a battle, most of which happens when two characters stand next to each other for a second. Sometimes you’re required to talk to an NPC or a bad guy to beat the stage, but most of the in-battle dialog is “optional.” It’s possible to miss a lot of it if the “right” characters never line up, or you don’t take the ones who have something to say into battle with you.

These conversations seem to be private – people hit on each other and bicker and make fun of characters who aren’t present. Occasionally someone will even have a thought that they don’t share. (“Man – my identical twin brother so does not perform masculinity in a traditionally heternormative manner! It’s a good thing I wear this purple cape, otherwise people might confuse us!”)

And – sometimes – they say shit that’s really important to the plot that doesn’t show up anywhere else.

4) The character bios, which sometimes contain stuff that you’d call a spoiler if you were posting it on LiveJournal. There’s a stage where, if you click on one of the enemies and look at the bio, you’ll find that it describes him/her as “friendly with [party member A].” If this A talks to the enemy, the enemy will agree to join your party after a short conversation, apparently never having met A before. Did the people writing the bio jump the gun, and forget that Enemy is the enemy when he/she first shows up? But if you happen to have party member B with you, and B happens to line up with ex-enemy, they’ll have a conversation that seems to hint that A and ex-enemy have met before.

(Actually, this particular stage and enemy are interesting in all sorts of weird meta-ways. Though Enemy’s bio establishes him/her as being a member of the Evil Organization, and the player can clearly see that Enemy is highlighted in bad-guy-red (and can, I think, even kill him/her, though I didn’t try), A and B’s conversation make it clear that Enemy’s redness isn’t evident to them. So the game mechanic itself tells a part of the story not indicated by the dialog or art.)

5) The sound effects. Everyone has little phrases they say when they die, attack something, or perform certain other actions. Like the bios, these also tend to contain information you’re not “supposed” to have. An enemy in stage seven whispers, “I’m sorry, (spoiler) Princess…” when he dies, which tells the player they need to redo the stage and make sure the Princess talks to him.

Now, the very serious-sounding narration between stages focuses heavily on the brave Prince Serdic’s attempts to de-curse his sword and get himself properly coronated as King, so he can take back his kingdom from the evil empire. The player, however, learns at the end of the first stage that (spoilers for that, and for the beginning of stage eight) Continue reading “Rondo of Swords”


May 24 2008

Tag: computer,personal — 12:39 pm

I believe it indicates some sort of vital flaw in my character that, when my technical problem disappeared immediately after I finally emailed my host asking what was going on, I was annoyed rather than relieved.


May 20 2008

Official: I am not dying.

Cooking Tip: A teaspoon of habanero is too much. It doesn’t matter how much curry you’re making. If you put a teaspoon of habanero in the curry, the results will kill people.

Today I received the results of my chest X-ray. These were, regrettably, not expressed by means of the smiley face/frown face dichotomy. There was a lot of kanji, and some of it, when entered into my dictionary, turned up no results at all. Was my physical state so alarming that it could only be conveyed with the creation of entirely new kanji?!

Me: Sensei, does this mysterious piece of paper mean that I am not dying?

Daigakusei-sensei: What?! It’s blank! There are no results!

It appears that Daigakusei-sensei is easily alarmed over non-Japanese-class-related matters. Sleep-san and Myuu-san, who had this done last year, had to explain the form to her to prevent her from worrying that I had been improperly X-rayed. Being Taiwanese, they could magically read the non-existant kanji, and assured me that I was healthy.


May 18 2008

Agh.

Tag: consumption — 4:17 pm

My iPod’s acting funny again.

And there’s this e-ink machine coming out called the Astak Mentor that might be less than $200, and if that is true I may have to buy it.

At least the camera’s been behaving.


May 17 2008

Tag: food,japan — 6:33 pm

How can people eat natto? Is it some kind of joke?


May 16 2008

“She had to kill the coat.”

This is sort of my soul in the form of a New York Times article. It involves a coat that’s falling apart and an art project that goes wrong and mice and killing. It makes me so happy.


May 15 2008

DS still trying to kill me

Thus far, I like the dialog and character designs for Rondo of Swords. But it is insanely hard. I can’t even get through the whole of the tutorial.

Conversation had on my fourth or fifth try on the first level:

Fuzzy-san: No, wait, you had another guy, on a horse -

Me: He died just now! I think in one hit!

Fuzzy-san: I did not even see that.

Me: It was one of the three guys in armor who are right behind me. And look, look at this, there’s like five more right behind them! And a bunch of wizards waiting to ambush me when I finally get over here – there’s more guys over here -

Fuzzy-san: These at the bottom aren’t wearing armor. So are they just some random villagers? Are they safe?

Me: They’re highlighted in red, so they’re just some random villagers who want to kill me.

Fuzzy-san: The one in blue is the important one, right? So if you can have the one in gray sort of guard him -

Me: Blue guy just died.

Fuzzy-san: Oh, he’s giving a nice death speech!

Me: Yeah. His voice actor’s okay.


May 14 2008

Reaffirmation

Tag: personal — 7:31 pm

I stand by previous statements to the effect that muscle relaxants are awwwwesome.

But I append this: If you’re just going straight to bed anyway, hot chocolate with Nikka whiskey also works.

(I’m not drunk yet – I’ve got to stay awake another two or three hours if I don’t want to wake up at 3:00 AM again. (My brain seems to accept 5:00 AM as “too-early-but-whatever,” but if I’m up at 3:00 I just want to kill stuff all day. I got really, really mad at a pretend video game frog earlier. Said some pretty uncomplimentary things.))


May 13 2008

I have hurt myself again.

Tag: personal — 6:40 pm

When I was in middle school or high school, Mamaw had a problem involving a bottle of prescription medicine that had expired. When Dad suggested that she get it refilled, she informed him disgustedly that the doctor who had prescribed it was dead. And anyway, it had been prescribed for Papaw, who died before I was born.

Today I dug out the muscle relaxants they gave me last year because I have managed to hurt my back again. As with last time, I have no excuse for this. I went to class and played Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time. That’s not even a strenuous Mario game.

Has anyone ever invented a way to read while lying flat that doesn’t tire your arms out? Or do inventing-type people, like everyone else, always forget the inconveniences of a bad back the moment they get over it, and only remember again the next time they pull something?


May 12 2008

I hope you die on the second disc.

I rescind the stuff I said about Golden Sun. It doesn’t have the worst dialog of any RPG ever. Luminous Arc does. Luminous Arc is what you’d get if you tripled the banality and length of Golden Sun’s dialog and threw in a bunch of disturbing lolicon character designs, and voice actors. This game should not have voice actors. This was a poor tactical decision.

I didn’t even make it past the opening cut-scene, I had to turn it off. There were five separate named characters with creepy lolicon designs, and they were all clearly important to the plot, and two of them said, “yes, master!” Another was in a maid uniform, and another was menaced by a Cardinal. And there were eight or nine other named characters, three or four different secret organizations (not counting the Catholic Church), and they were all clearly important to the plot. And there were four time-skips. During the opening cut-scene! Which I stopped at about the twenty-minute mark.

I need a new Phoenix Wright game. My DS is trying to kill me.


May 11 2008

このラベルはきれいにはがせます

Tag: japan,personal — 9:44 pm

The price tag on one of my books says “This label can be peeled off cleanly.” This is true. I wish more labels were so thoughtful and honest about their intentions.


May 11 2008

I am a terrible, terrible cook.

Tag: food,personal — 6:05 pm

Never eat anything I have made. Ever. Please. I am worried about lawsuits.


May 08 2008

No, there were no earthquakes here, family.

Tag: japan,personal — 6:12 pm

There were some up north really early this morning, but if they hit Okazaki at all, it wasn’t even enough to wake me up. So don’t freak out if it ends up on the news.


May 08 2008

This is so someone’s senior research.

Tag: i study japanese,japan,personal — 5:22 pm

Heteronormativity-san, because he is apparently about twelve years old, enjoys shoving persons of the feminine disposition. He hasn’t tried it seriously on me for a couple months, because I’ve been known to kick. But today at lunch I passed him in the stairwell, saw that he was smirking for reasons that were doubtless extremely heteronormative, and made a face at him. So he pushed me, and threw me off balance enough that I fell down and landed on my posterior in a manner that I’m sure was very amusing.

After ascertaining that I was all right, he felt it necessary to explain the situation to me: “It wasn’t my fault! That was not my fault!”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” I’d been going down to the first floor pick up my mail, so I threatened his life again, and limped tragically on down with my hand on my abused posterior.

(Incidentally, I have since examined it and discovered extremely visible bruises. I seriously do need to hurt him about this.)

He was in the classroom when I got back up to the classroom a couple minutes later, so I hit him over the head with my envelopes. He wailed, “It wasn’t my fault! It was your own fault!”

And everyone else in the room (except Fuzzy-san, who was playing his stupid PSP like always) all said in pretty much the same moment, “It was Heteronormativity-san’s faullllt!”

It became obvious that he had run straight up there to explain to everyone that yes, I’d fallen down the stairs, and yes, he’d pushed me, but it wasn’t his fault.

So what we have learned today is that lack of fluency in a language leads people not only to express themselves like children, but also to behave like children! I am not ashamed. It was completely his fault.


May 07 2008

Oh, and also,

Tag: japan,personal — 4:07 pm

we had another earthquake last night. The Japan Meteorological Agency site says there were intensity-1 quakes in a bunch of nearby cities at exactly the time I felt it, but either Okazaki’s seismographs didn’t pick it up, or it was too weak even to count as a “1″ here. When I asked today, no one else had felt anything. Maybe I’m a geomancer.


May 07 2008

Recent Researches: How To Tell If The Japanese Post Office ATM Is Closed

Tag: japan,personal,recent researches — 3:32 pm

I don’t think you can! The door is still open! The service window is still open! The machine itself is still turned on! The problem is not obvious until you put your crazy moon country debit card in, and it spits it out at you and says it can’t process the card! It doesn’t say that it’s past ATM bedtime! And then you panic, and you think someone’s got into your card in the forty-eight hours since you ordered those Moomins books, and you’ve only got like 6000 yen in cash, and you email Mom because she probably knows what to do!

Actually, now that I’ve managed to find and use a non-closed post office ATM, I’ve realize there was one other symptom – the button saying “visitor withdrawal” didn’t show up when I clicked through to the English language screen yesterday, which it should have done, and did on my successful withdrawal today. Maybe they close visitor withdrawals extra-early during Golden Week, but leave the other options open until normal-early? It’s a mystery!

In related news, I’m thinking of taking the shower curtain out of my shower because it smells weird.


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