DAD: [Name Redacted] called my office today! He was looking for a job.

ME: Don’t hire him.

DAD: Why not?

ME: He’s a Republican.

DAD: He’s a Republican?

ME: And he’s lazy.

DAD: Uh-huh…

ME: And he lies.

DAD: Anything else you’d like to say?

ME: He has bad hair. And his Facebook profile is insipid.