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Recruiting On Campus This Wednesday – Villains!

Recruiting On Campus This Wednesday – Villains! published on

Damnit, it’s less than a week to April Fools and I still have no idea what kind of signs I’m going to put up.

Stuff I’ve thought about but am not really into-

1) Very serious announcements for Sarah Anti-Proliferation Day, urging that all 1500 Sarahs on campus legally change their names. Will involve bulleted scare statistics about accidents caused by “a phenomenon experts call “Sarah Saturation”” – someone yelling “Sarah!” and 12% of the people within earshot stopping and looking around.

Cons: I’ve talked about this before, people’ll know it was me. And that’s boring.

2) Signs apparently conversing amongst themselves about how Lymond is back.

Cons: No one will get it. Also, the people in my lit class might see the name “Lymond” and guess it was me, because I brought up Pawn in Frankincense to extend some kind of point about Antony and Cleopatra that I’ve totally already forgotten.

3) Signs “looking for a good home” for Zapdos, Moltres, and Articuno (“spayed, housebroken; got too big for the apartment”). Thinly-veiled Team Rocket ploy. Possibly acquire some kind of toy with plastic blue/fuchsia hair and “accidentally” get some caught in the tape.

Cons: People will know it was me. I will, illogically, think this unjust.

4) MephistoPhair Job Fair, with recruiters from Shinra Corp, Ootori Medical Supply, the Knights of the Eastern Calculus, both “Magus’s Army” and “Power-Mad Minions of Lavos,” the State Alchemists, and many others!

Cons: I’m just not feeling it.

5) The Whimsical Manga Job Fair, with recruiters from Antique Bakery, Cafe Alpha, Kyoto University School of Mushi Studies, Yuuko’s Shop, Nico’s Enjo Kousai Service, and others! (Possibly combine with 4 and put both at the same time and place.)

Cons: See 4.

6) There are some signs up about plagiarism right now, saying stuff like, “Are you a plagiarist?” with statistics formatted like “four out of ten” on them. Put up signs right next to them saying, “Are you incapable of reducing a fraction?”, with course numbers for introductory calc sections.

Cons: If I did this, it would mean I was a -ing tool.

-Rejected ideas-

1) Call for submissions for a “new literary campus erotica publication DeniseXXXy!” With instructions to submit via email in RTF, PDF, or PNG format, to somebody I don’t like.

Cons: The individual in question is wealthy and brittle. Lawsuits would swiftly follow.

2) Sticking the 95 Theses on some doors.

Cons: Unoriginal.

3) Mark of Samael. Should probably use sidewalk chalk.

Cons: See 2.

4) Sloppy sorority-girl-school-of-graphic-design signs wishing Anne McCaffrey a happy birthday, with implication in text that Mercedes Lackey made them. Clipart pictures of dragons arranged so it kind of looks like they’re humping.

Cons: This is a bad idea.

5) Release the scorpions.

Cons: None whatsoever.

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