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Back at the dorm.

Back at the dorm. published on

COLLEGE.

I’ve been moving the stuff I did on the laptop over to the desktop. I found a .txt file called “ohcomeon.” This file contains the character description of someone who attacked me in that vampire game a while back:

Werewolf Jade Shadow Wendigo

Clad in black pants that fit around her curvaceous hips, broadened dramatically and were straight legged from the buttocks down. Her twenty hole docs were completely concealed within her longer than average, wide legged pants. Various chains were hanging off of hooks which were randomly placed on the pockets and sides. Neon teal thread outlined the excessively large pockets and other cloth dealy-bobs as well as the seams. A honey colored complexion gave her a rather exotic appearance. Youthful and athletic her body was muscularly toned to perfection. A rather voluptuous chest was being held up by a black leather garment that looked like half a corset. It was so tight, not only did it seem to be a second skin, but it left nothing to the imagination. Cut short just above the bottom of her rib cage, it showed her rather attractive torso. Golden eyes peered out behind lush lashes. Silken tresses flowed in raven waves around her frame, ending at the small of her back. Her hair was usually pulled back into a pony-tail or braided with the bangs free to frame her face. She wasn’t the tallest of creatures, standing at 5’5″.

She is kind of a Frankenstein’s monster of subtly clashing Mary Sue cliches.

She is “curvaceous” and “muscularly toned to perfection” at the same time! Her breasts are “voluptuous” on their own merits, but just for good measure they’re also “held up” by a garment that “not only seems to be a second skin, but leaves nothing to the imagination” – those are completely different ideas, there! Hence the “not only, but” sentence structure!

And her torso is “rather attractive,” I don’t know if we’d made that clear enough or not. She has “silken tresses” that can also do the “raven waves” thing, excellent. Oh, no, her skin is “honey colored” and her eyes are “golden,” that seems like a bit of an oversight.

I don’t know if you’re supposed to call this person “Jade” or “Shadow” or “Wendigo” – I’m just calling her Wendy. I hope Wendy doesn’t go at me with her torso or with a tress or something.

And I just realized, she’s clearly not a fucking werewolf.