Villainous types were using the kitchen at 6:30, so I decided to put my fish out to thaw and lie down while I waited for them to finish.
After a while, I noticed that it was kind of dark, and rolled over to look at the clock. It said 1:19 AM. I said, out loud, so as my inanimate objects would know, “I am some kind of genius.”
Whenever I do something stupid at work, I preface my explanation with, “Because I’m a genius.” (as in, “Because I’m a genius, I accidentally hit the print button just now,” or, “Because I’m a genius, I gave that girl bad directions.”) Today ILL Lord heard me saying this for the first time and laughed at me. I told her patiently, “I never do anything for non-genius reasons.” About forty-five seconds later, I ran into a piller.