Today’s (yesterday’s) methods by which I have amused/discomfited the masses while sleep-deprived and panicking for various good reasons:
Prof. Portentous: The question is, do I have the tests graded. The answer is, yes.
Me, “These-aren’t-the-droids-you’re-looking-for” voice: I don’t think you *really* have the tests graded.
Prof. Portentous: Oh, you don’t, do you. Do you think I should wait to give them out?
Me, continuing: In fact, I think the tests were lost in a… freak anteater accident…
Prof. Portentous: Yeah, pass those around, please.
Me, checking out a book with scary red eyes on the cover to Real-Tall-san: I’m laughing at your book… there’s too many books with scary eyes on the cover sitting back there, especially glowy red eyes…
Real-Tall-san, nervously: Heh heh…
Me: It’s what you put on books about terrorists or cryptography, there’s like laws about it –
Real-Tall-san, faintly offended: Okay, so next time I’ll –
Me: You should be more careful!
Me, answering the phone: Library Circulation, may I help you?
Person on line: [stuff my co-worker couldn’t hear]
Co-worker: *looks up at me very slowly*
The girl on the line had been asking about a video titled “Jesus,” of which we had three. Since she’d called on the phone rather than checking the online catalog, naturally she could not identify which of them she wanted, and naturally each was in a slightly different state of availability.