That Woman came up to me after and said, sounding kinda surprised, “That was actually quite good.” Soon I shall feast upon her entrails. Of *course* it was a fucking good presentation. It’s because I am fucking *eight million times* smarter than you, you *bitch*. You are a *shitty art teacher* and I am a *genius* who is such a *sophisticated internet user* that I use *asterisks* rather than CAPS LOCK to lend *emphasis* to *words*.
Disclaimer: I am a snob and am about to be completely unfair to my classmates. (But not to the professor, I don’t think.) My excuse is that I’ve hurt my foot and my head feels like gnomes are hammering and sparkling their way out of it. But still, take note – I am going to be an asshole here. You might want to go read a Janet Kagan book or something instead if, you know, you’re not into that kinda thing. Eat some chocolate.
…now, on that subject (and when I say “on that subject,” I meant both hate and the art class), I *have* been taking notes the past few weeks, but they’ve mostly been crazy angry idiot notes (which are, of course, something I have down to an art form). This is because some of the other presentations have been bad.
The course is called “Asian Narrative Art” – or, it has “Asian” and “narrative” and “art” in the name, anyway, which is what’s important. Its subject is therefore *Asian art* that in some fashion conveys a *narrative*. When we come into the classroom, I feel like there should be this sort of *understanding* in place that we’re pretty much going to be talking about *Asian narrative art*. It’s not something that really needs to be re-stated a lot.
I eventually started keeping a tally of how many times people said, “In my project I’m looking at the art, and especially how it pertains to the narrative.”
GLARBLE MURF killkillkillkillkill
The upside is, no one tried to stress the “Asian” part. I imagine some dude up there going like, “the picture is by an Indian guy, and it’s really in the Indian tradition, and is not like American art or Canadian art or anything, so the Asian-ness of the art really comes through there, if you see how the faces are drawn and things like that.” And then I *bleed*.
There were also exactly two (2) people who said that something “really helped to convey the narrative.” As in, “the colors are very bright and really help to convey the narrative,” and “it’s like a kajillion feet long which really helps to convey the narrative.” I hate you bastards.
Another two (2) people also used the phrase “especially as regards to the visual”; as in, “it kind of moves along, especially as regards to the visual,” or “I just think it’s a really interesting piece, especially as regards to the visual” or oh my god someone try to break into the dorm so I can fucking hit them. I hate everything and physical reality will collapse upon itself under the weight of my disapproval.
*Any day now.*
My notes also included a picture I drew of Generica Villainous forcing our hero Casey the Overeducated Berserker to kneel before her, which I maintain is within the scope of the class because it was part of a larger narrative, and that narrative also has a ninja in it, and ninja are Japanese. *Asian narrative art*, people.