snarp’s blog

We watched the live action Sailor Moon series in anime club today. I think my IQ dropped a few points; my heckling is generally at least slightly more coherent than, “Oh, my god, *why* - that doesn’t even make sense! Oh, god, you can see the puppeteer’s arm - did that cactus just go through *mitosis* - oh, no, *why?* WHY ARE THEY SINGING?”

As I was walking back to the dorm just now, a girl ran across the street to avoid me. This was not a coincidence - she was staring at me with her eyes bugged out, and she slowed down immediately once she was past me. I was, of course, wearing a long black coat and fedora…

…But, I mean, I’m kind of *small*. And this girl was something like a foot taller than I am. Also, I’m female, and affluent and Jewish, though I guess I couldn’t expect her to know the second two, but in any case, I am definitely not in any of those demographics that get a lot of violent crimes pinned on them. I now know how it feels to be a large black man.

Seriously, I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what I was doing that might freak out someone twice my size, but I think I was pretty much just walking - a few minutes before I’d suddenly thought of Negaverse hair and giggled, but there were shrubs and crap in the way and she wouldn’t have seen that. So I’m ending up falling back on stereotyping myself, and have decided that she must just have been an Eastern European international student.

This is because two of the Eastern European international student girls I’ve met have had weird phobias, and my broad generalizations strikes hard and fast like lightning. If it makes sense for a broad generalization to *strike*. But anyway, I’m guessing that her particular silly-East-European-girl phobia must be of fedoras, since if it was the black coat she’d have been hospitalized by now - there’s just way too many of them running around campus - and the same goes for short smirking people and little oval glasses.

I’m pretty sure she came out of the freshmen-only dorm that’s right next to mine, so I guess I’m going to have to run into her again, and presumably scare her again, since I do kind of wear trenchcoats and fedoras a *lot*. Hopefully this will give her the courage to face up to her fears and break out of this terrible East European girl stereotype that an uncaring world has created for her.

I think I’m going to fall asleep on the keyboard in a second.

So these guys (they’re advertizing on Sluggy right now) are selling “man soap” with names like “lumberjack” and “goat.” I should get some for Dad and see if the names convince him that expensive environmentally-friendly soap is not a threat to his masculinity.

Galaxy Express 999 is completely insane. I think I’ll watch it again and see how many times the kid yells “Maetel!”

In the bathroom last night there was a little black worm lying in the black space between the tiles, where it was invisible until I kicked it accidentally. It writhed itself back into place, and went still again. It probably is not an entirely new species of worm which evolved entirely in the SAE women’s restroom into a form perfectly adapted to sitting motionless on the grout - but I *wish* it was.

It’s moved now, I don’t know where it is. *Ominous.*

(This text was originally posted on LiveJournal. It has been reformatted (awkwardly) for use on WordPress.)

I was forced to leave this note in the kitchen this morning:

( Illustrative photo is behind the cut. )

“To the individual who, sometime Thursday morning, took my soup out of the fridge, spilled some on the floor, put it back without covering it properly, and left without cleaning up his spill, thus causing me to stumble barefoot into yellow liquid at 9:00 AM while nauseous:

When I find out who you are, you will suffer torments new to experience of man.

For a lesser food-crime than this, in Kentucky a man lies in a shallow grave, the fondou he did offend against smeared across his sightless eyes, his mouth still agape in an expression of faint shock. This fate and worse await you. Settle your affairs and compose your mind and spirit.

Have a nice day,
SRP”

I think my handwriting sort of lends an air of legitimacy to death threats.

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I was listening to The New Pornographers before chemistry lab. I am now fairly certain that Bleeding Heart Show is about halides. Also, that the phrase “lead-two acetate” is in there *somewhere*.

I keep following Jenan’s advice about Chinese Lit assignments and getting C’s. I think I will stop doing that now. Bad Jenan.

(This text was originally posted on LiveJournal. It has been reformatted (awkwardly) for use on WordPress.)

Today there was a most excellent thing in the dining hall. For some reason, they called it “Vegetable Panache.”

Yes, I’m sure this dish does have more panache than most served there. It also has more moxie, more poise, more élan, and probably more Kool-Aid Points. And “Veggie Moxie” would have been a much better name. So I am left wondering, “why?” Why panache? Why use that specific word they don’t understand, when out there in the wild outer reaches of the English language there are words like “agglutination” and “fandango?” Why don’t they serve this more often? What does it take to get a correctly cooked piece of broccoli around here?

My mind may never be at peace.

Maybe I could *ask* them to rename it “Veggie Moxie.”

( Illustrative photos may be viewed behind the cut. )

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OMG OMG OMG today’s Narbonic OMG punctuation UNNECESSARY

1)

Okay, anyone know what the fuck happened?

2)

Spoilers:

…Okay, I guess they had to bring Sephiroth back. But, but - shouldn’t he have had, like, EVIL DEEDS to do or something? Who, upon being resurrected after being dead for two years, hangs around and taunts Cloud? Why would you *do* that? There are certainly situations in which taunting Cloud is appropriate, nay, *required* - but immediately after miraculously coming back to life?! No!

I need a good dose of Kefka to clean out my system. Hey, remember how in FFVI, the villain, like, MADE FUN of the good guys when went got all inspirational-speaker? Sephiroth read the self-help books just like everyone else. (And why the hell is fucking *Vincent* the one to give Cloud the first big inspirational speech, how does that even work.)

3)

Reeve, man, do you have some body image issues you’d like to talk about?

In Advent Children, Cloud dies but is magically resurrected when Pokemon cry on him.

No, I haven’t seen it yet.

My immense genius has naturally afforded me many opportunities in life that others, less-gifted, would never have the joy of experiencing. Today, for example, my brilliance led me not to check what was in the sink in the chemistry lab before I turned the faucet on, causing a mysterious blueish chemical in a tub to splash up onto my face, some of it getting into my mouth. I have spent the last forty-five minutes spitting and pondering whether my stomach is cramping because I swallowed some of it or because of the placebo effect.

You people who aren’t *smart* don’t even know what the placebo effect *is*, I’ll bet.

…

I’ll be skipping dinner. If I don’t show up for work tonight, you have permission to break the door down with an axe. ’cause that’d be pretty cool. Us smart people *appreciate* axes.

I just had a revelation. Next time I’m watching a bad movie and there’s some idiots in love talking about sunrises and flowers and kittens and stuff, I can sing, “Your love is like baaaad metaphors!”

My revelations aren’t very good, are they?

Because I am inefficient, I have set up both a Livejournal and Journalfen, which I plan to update with the same stuff until I decide which one I like better. I only decided this like, twenty minutes ago, so all that stuff before this is backdated, and this here is technically my first Livejournal post.

Just so you know.

Journalfen is here.

Yesterday I gave my paycheck for this week plus $5 to the Red Cross. Today the internet tells me that Homeland Security is keeping them out of New Orleans, because the people still in the city are all just there because they’re too dumb and lazy to leave. If food and medical care are kept *just out of reach*, surely *then* those silly dying people will pick themselves up and get out.